unsoldiered | IC Contact

Today is made of buttholes.

Come have a drink with me so I don't feel like an alcoholic?

[... Dear god.

Just thinking about the last time he drank makes his head hurt.]

... you'll probably feel like one whether i'm there or not.

don't tell me youre as bad as murphy.

because drinking out of the whiskey bottle is a bad idea.

So I don't feel like a lonely alcoholic, then.

and excuse you, I am a classy lady. If I can't find a tumbler I'll at least use a mug or something.

Please?

well |

[And then he pauses, making a face at nothing at all.]

Im a pretty lame drinker. and kinda lightweight

[Just a little... :|

Why is she asking me of all people again?]

maybe i could hang out for a little...

Relax, it's not like I'm planning on leading you astray. Just want a little company, is all.

Meet me in the level 2 kitchen?

[snort.]

psht. I dont think you can lead me off the beaten path anymore than I usually do.

I'll meet you there then.

[what's the worst that can happen

`_`]

[The message is going to Alex, Murphy and Anne. Heather -- who sounds tired and agitated -- hasn't actually thought to make this especially clear, but she hasn't put any sort of filter or encryption on it either so they'll see that should they care to check. It's also deliberately sent in the middle of the night in the hopes that they'll be asleep and not answer right away (because the SH crew are such sound sleepers, gj Heather).]

I. Um. I have to tell you something. It's about Silent Hill. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't know how. But now I know you guys and what you went through there and it's kinda worse now. So I guess I just oughta spit it out.

I think I told you I went there on purpose. To get revenge, because the Order killed my father. But I didn't tell you why. It's kind of a long story, but the important bit is that they wanted revenge on him for taking me away from them. Because it's where I'm from. I was born and raised there, a long time ago. I was called Alessa then, and I was... different. There was something wrong with me, I could do things. Not good things. Make people see things, hurt them. So my – her mother used her to to summon their god. As a sacrifice to bring it, a burnt offering. And to carry it. It worked. My father killed it, and before the girl died she handed him a baby. Me.

But the god was in me too. I didn't know, until I was seventeen. That's when they killed him. I was so angry, so hurt, and it made it strong. After I went there, every time I got angry it would change to that -- that nightmare world.

I stopped it. I killed it, and I think it's gone now. For good. But I had to tell you. I thought you had the right to know that I'm not just -- I haven't just been there. I'm part of it.

So if I never hear from you again, I get it. If you need to yell at me, whatever, I get that too. If you wanna throw me out the airlock -- well, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't.

That's it. Thanks for... for listening.

[Well. That's okay, Heather. He takes a long time to reply—an entire day, actually. It takes some time to mull over everything he's been told. Is he surprised that this was Heather's story? Yeah. Of course he was. But is he shocked it happened?

... Not at all.

So. Heather summoned a god and carried it. The same god he was almost killed for.

Damn.

Finally, after sitting around lost in his own thoughts—nothing new, that one—a response.]

Heather... We need to meet.

To talk.

[He's not going to settle this over a screen, dammit.]

[She owes him that much, at least. Thinks over it a good long while before she responds, sits on her bed with her communicator in her lap, staring at it, turning her gun over in her hands.

No. She puts it away before she responds and resolves to leave it there. He's not going to do anything. It's Alex.

And if he does, can she really say he's not entitled to it?]

Okay. Just tell me when and where.

... How about the holodeck? In a hour.

[Seemed fitting, since they spent time there talking.

It's better than some sad little recreational room, or a kitchen.]

Alright. I'm --

[No. I'm sorry has never been so useless, or so cowardly.]

I'll be there.

[Alex'll be there, earlier than he'd said. Sitting against the wall, no holograms brought up. He had just walked in and plopped down, tired but mind buzzing, not bothering with anything except the conversation they're about to have. He left his jacket in his room, settling for the black shirt and jeans, entirely at rest. Even his dog tags are tucked into his collar. He... didn't want her to feel like he'd come charged and ready to duke it out verbally, or anything.

Waiting in general sucks. But in this situation, it's sorta torturous. Maybe he should have helped her and himself along and made it an immediate visit.]

[For her part, Heather would love a jacket. She usuaslly only wears her jumpsuit when she's working, but it's out today because she doesn't want to wear the clothes she had there and the Robbie shirt is completely out of the question. Normally she even rolls the sleeves up, showing the scars she got in Silent Hill like something she's earned. It's been harder to do that with any pride lately, and if she could be wrapped up in Tillman's huge old jacket right about now it'd maybe -- maybe -- do a little to take the edge of dread out of this. But she can't, and she shows up barely even late, ready for... whatever.]

Hey, Alex.

[He looks up, quiet, and then nods his chin toward the spot beside him.

Hope you're ready for a real harsh reply to your audio message, Heather.]

[She sits, as ordered. Settles her hands on her knees first, shifts awkwardly and ends up pulling her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and just

watching him

waiting.]

[Wait for it... Wait for it...

Hands still clasped in front of him on his knees, he elbows her in the arm, completely deadpan.]

You're stupid.

[There. Simple, right? Might wanna add to that statement, he guesses.]

Did you really think we'd wanna throw you out of an airlock?

Edited 2012-09-16 07:58 (UTC)

[No, she gets it; there's a sound halfway between a sigh and a laugh escaping her as he continues, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter or maybe tears of relief that aren't quite coming.}

Maybe. I wouldn't blame you.

[She ducks her head down towards her knees, hair in her face, head shaking.]

Something else showed up here that helped cause that stuff, I don't know that I'd be as kind as you are. Not that I don't appreciate it.

[He reaches over and takes her shoulder, gently squeezing.]

You're just as much a victim of that place as we are, no matter what you say otherwise. [He furrows his brow, looking exasperated. Smiling just a little, even if it was hard to. But the smile softens, fades out as he looks across the room.] You're not the only one the cult fucked with... and, uh. You're not the only person they've tried to sacrifice.

[Well, now that that was out...]

So I can understand how it feels, for them to try to use you like that. Definitely not as bad as yours—and... and Alessa's. But you're not alone, and I can't hate you for what they tried to do.

[That gentle touch is enough to wring a smile out of her. Because you don't go around giving monsters shoulder-squeezes, right? And no matter how good a job Harry did of raising her to see herself as Heather first and something created by the powers of that place second, she really wasn't sure anyone else would see it that way. She can't keep it up when he finishes, though.]

You too? Oh, Alex. Is there anything they didn't try to take from you?

[Because... well, it's not quite that she feels responsible for the cult, but she does sometimes wonder how differently things might have gone if she'd taken the opportunity to... you know, do a little smiting.]

Seriously, fuck those guys.

[He just shakes his head at all of this. They fucked everything up for Heather, and she was going to try to accept some of that blame? No way. He wasn't about to allow that. Even if she wanted to say it until she was blue in the face.]

Yeah...

[He agreed with that much. Most everyone on the Tranquility would agree.

Fuck those guys.]

The truth is... I mean—the full story is, my parents were a part of that cult. I—I didn't really have any clue until everything went to hell. Their forefathers founded our town—four families, originally. In return for leaving Silent Hill, they swore to a pact that every fifty years, they'd sacrifice one of their children. One from each family.

[He looks up at her. If they were going to get these things off their chests, it might as well be now.]

The people before us fucked up. Not us.

[... Sorta. He still harbors some guilt about what happened, but he still blames the fucks who'd agree to something so awful.]

Sins of the father, and all. Jesus. How could -- I mean, I know Silent Hill was messed up, believe me, but how could it be worse than killing your own kid? How could anything?

[It comes back to Harry, of course -- everything does, for Heather, sooner or later -- but there's nothing more important than family, whether it's the one you're born into or the kind you build around you. Nothing.

That kinda puts you right in the shit when the only family you've ever had is taken away from you, but that doesn't negate the sentiment, right?]

They tried to get me back when I was seven. Somebody from the cult tracked us down and tried to take me. I mean, I didn't know then that's why he was there, but...

[She shrugs.]

Dad killed him. I know he never thought of it this way, but it ruined his life. We had to pack everything up and keep moving. I mean, I guess you can write anywhere, but I don't remember him ever having a girlfriend. Or friends, even. He gave everything up to keep me safe and all I had to do was go blonde and change my name.

I'm sorry you didn't have that, Alex. I know it's not my fault, but I'm sorry anyway.

It's alright... Them distancing themselves from me like they did made it easier for me to do the same. So I guess... even if they did it so they wouldn't feel as much killing me, it still worked out in my favor. In some fucked up ironic way.

[He leans back on the wall, sighing through his nose.]

It's good, that your father did what he did. I can't imagine what that place could've been like, if he hadn't, what coulda' happened. It's not like summoning a god wouldn't have some crazy consequences, right?

[A beat.]

And we wouldn't have you to pester and bug and mope around with.

I'm just sorry that it fucked up your lives like that. Every kid... deserves a good home. Some place they feel like they belong to.

[Alex had been looking for that place for most of his life, too... A big, solid house and there was no real heart in it... So much for dad's dogtags, huh? He's starting to wonder why the hell he wears them anymore.]

[You don't have to imagine, Alex. She'll tell you, because she is making the best decisions right now.]

It wouldn't just have been Silent Hill. Not if it turned out like they thought it would. It was supposed to cleanse the world with fire, wipe out all the unbelievers and everything we've done to fuck the place up so Paradise could take its place. 'course, it probably wouldn't have gone how they thought. You look at the paintings in the churches and all the pictures of god, she's like... this beautiful girl. Pretty red dress, this kind, sweet face. It wasn't like that at all. It was terrifying. I don't know if that's just because I made sure it wasn't born properly, but it's hard to imagine what I saw would have turned out okay if I hadn't taken a dose of demon Plan B in time.

[Okay, Mason, reel it in. The guy's been nice enough to hear you out, accept you for what you are, and tell you his own background in return. don't pay him back by scaring the bejeezus out of him.]

Dad was all the home I ever needed. No matter where we were, he made sure we had our little traditions. Like we always sat down to dinner together, even if it was just takeout in a crappy motel.

Maybe... I don't know, maybe this is weird. But we're all here, and... maybe we could be that for each other.

[Heather, please. It takes a lot to surprise him anymore. Considering he fought reincarnations (or fuck if he knows) of murdered children? Anything is possible. Anything. You could have told him pigeons were actually lords and rulers of the free world and he'd nod casually.

... Alright, maybe not that. But there aren't as many limitations as there really damn well should be.

He looks away from her though, at that... offer? Idea? He's not sure. But while he wants nothing more than to have something like that, his stomach twists and he thinks maybe it scares him. He clears his throat.]

... I don't know.

[Genuinely unsure, too. Does she mean, like... something like a family? What if something goes wrong, what if I do something wrong, what if I'm not good enough, what if it all happens again, what if I don't deserve any of that-

He half-laughs, but it's kinda' pathetic and mostly sad in hindsight.]

I didn't do so good at any of that before. Tried for a long time, but... Never really panned out.

[For, uh. Obvious reasons, now.]

[Jesus H Tapdancing Christ, Heather. The guy's just told you his actual family was involved in a cult and planned to sacrifice him, of course he's not going to want to play happy families with you. And it's not fair to ask people to try to fill that gap anyway. She rubs a hand through the back of her hair, huffs an attempt at a laugh.]

Yeah, you're right. It was -- I don't know, there's too much happening right now. It's turning me into a total girl. But I'm here. You know, if you ever need me, or whatever.

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